On Wednesday night I was honoured to speak at the launch of A note 2 self in Ipswich. Check it out on facebook A note 2 self
I got to speak along side 4 other amazing women.
Words are very powerful, Allison Grant mentioned the infamous quote “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!”
Well we have all more then likely experienced being hurt by something someone has said.
Hence how words can be very hurtful but they can also be very empowering!
This is the concept behind A note 2 self.

Using your own words to empower yourself, too finally put those words to use and get them out of your head.
I have regularly been writing to Glen since he passed away but never had I actually written to myself and after writing my note 2 self I re read the words back to myself and felt a shift that was sad, happy and empowering.
Yes I have experienced a pretty shitty time, but I did move through that time with serious strength and pride and I really needed myself to know that.
And thats exactly what i got from my  note 2 self

There is a live video up on my facebook page if you want to check that out.
But I also wanted to share my letter here.


Dear Cassandra

Merry Christmas to you! Santa comes tonight so you better get that pregnant ass of yours to bed early!

I know there’s no christmas tree up this year but that’s ok santa will still leave you a present or two.
The next few days will be full of family and fun and great stories of the year that has passed.
And what a year you have had.
You got married, what an amazing day that was everyone had such an amazing time, you looked fucking amazing in your wedding dress and damn did glen look pretty hot all suited up!
And then you guys had your first overseas trip together in gorgeous hawaii! Lots of cocktails by the pool, a trip to the big island and of course visiting the area where jurassic park was filmed was a highlight as well as the trip to the volcanoes!

Glen even put up with all the shopping just because it made you smile!
And to top it off matching tattoos as souvenirs that you can never lose! Aloha!

Back home and then you flew off again on a business adventure to Dallas texas, leaving your new husband at home to only then  to be two passing ships in the night as he then left for New zealand with his band for a tour!
But there was enough time in there somewhere for you to get pregnant so high 5 to that!
Wow and that was all only in the first half of the year your crazy bitch. Do you ever stop?
You just did all that whilst still running like 3 businesses!
Man i’m getting tired just thinking back over all that!

So then you guys kicked some more goals in business and Glen’s band was starting to really take off things were all falling into place for them!
Damn you were so proud! Oh and cooking a baby and working hard yourself, of course things got pretty hard at times and there really were moments that you got home as glen was leaving, but your learnt pretty quickly to enjoy those passing moments.
You both learnt to really appreciate each other and what you had especially because life was going to change when this baby arrived and with the high possibility of Glens banding touring either europe or the US next year things were getting very intense and very real very fast.
But you guys were strong you held it together.

Oh god do you remember the day you found out you were having a boy! Glen could not wipe the smile of his face it was so gorgeous!

So glad you got that scan done before glen Headed off to record the album in thailand!
Another proud moment for your both!

Now that brings me back to today it’s christmas eve, this is going to be your first christmas without glen.
And it’s all going to be ok.
I know the past month or so didn’t really go as planned.
Never in your life did you think that you would have to bury your husband in the same year that you married him.
Never in your life did you think that you would now be bringing your son into the world as a widow.
So lets talk about the night you got the phone call that changed your life forever

Glen had been in thailand for 2 weeks already so your were already missing him like crazy.

But shit women you held it together for yourself and for your family for your unborn child!

You were fucking amazing i am so goddamn proud of you! You just got shit sorted and helped start to process to get your husband home.
I don’t know how you kept your shit together but you did.

Your life was now forever changed. What were you going to do? Were you going to curl up in a ball and cry and not talk to anyone for the rest of forever.
Hell if that’s what you wanted to do then that would’ve been totally fine with me and hell i’m sure no one would’ve  argued with you.
Hell you were 30 weeks pregnant, it was summer and your bloody husband just died!

But you didn’t did you, are you fucking superhuman or something?

You woke up each day and did what needed to be done hell you even put yourself out there to be the shoulder to cry on for your friends and family, it wasn’t just you that was grieving was it!

What good were your going to be to yourself or anyone else if you stayed in bed all day.

So then the funeral date came up and there was so many people there, hundreds of people!

And you so did not want to hug everyone but you kept it together and you hugged and spoke to those who needed it. It wasn’t just about you, you weren’t the only one who had lost Glen.

but shit Seriously some people do need to wear more deodorant!

Once again another moment that you kept it together and i’m so proud of you again you are one strong ass women!

But now it’s time for you to maybe not be so strong, it’s time for you to maybe cry a little or a lot.
It’s time for you to feel the pain so that you can really start to move on from this hurt, this heartbreak, this life changing moment.
It’s also time to love you and to not worry about others, they will all be there when you need them you just have to ask for help.
You’re going to be an amazing mother and don’t you dare think otherwise.
Your son will be proud of you and he will know his father because you will share stories and memories with him each and everyday.

Now it’s time to go to bed. Santa will be here soon.

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